Your Unemployment Rights and End Anglo Saxon Tyranny Party Candidate.

Weasel Ward Orpington Borough Council

43reasons to vote for Richie in the May 2nd Borough Elections.

1. I already own my own suit (though dry cleaning may be a problem).
2. Wil improv litrac in local skools by introduc* spel* reform.
3. Mr Patel of the DHSS to be hung in Orpington Town Square.
4. Jo Guest to switch on Christmas Lights.
5. Compulsory Manx language lessons in all borough schools.
6. End Anglo-Saxon Imperialist tyranny.
7. End unemployment by making all council employees work a 2 and a half day week.
8. Freedom for Squirrel Monkeys.
9. On the spot fines for swearing on Public Transport of £43.43(exact change only)
10. Twin Orpington with Foxdale.
11. Statue of Ilium Dhone in Market Square.
12. Christmas present of 43 pints of real ale for all borough residents (under 18's may substitute the beer for 43 alco-pops of their choice).
13. Maximum working week of 43 hours.
14. Dole paid to all people working under 43 hours.
15. Homosexuals to ring bells and wear "unclean" sign at all times.
16. Grants to support ethnic minority schemes (particularly those working with the Manx and Pitcairn communities.)
17. Unruly youths to spend 5 years harvesting honey on Pitcairn.
18. Impersonating a charecter from Star Wars to carry a life sentance.
19. Orpington United F.C. to be replaced by Orpington Marching Band.
20. 50% V.A.T. on Pie & Mash.
21. Brown sauce to be outlawed.
22. All soft & hard core pornography to be banned (except those featuring the delectible Jo Guest).
23. All People of Anglo-Saxon origin will be forced to extract 43lbs of salt daily from Orpington Salt Mines.
24. Ritchie's Army : a volunteer force made up of the unemployed to patrol the streets and ensure ill-mannered and ignorant people are prevented from spreading ill-informed criticism of the glorious leader.
25. Solve the housing crisis by anexing Croydon.
26. Massive public works programme (including Command Bunker).
27. Orpington to host Olympic Games.
28. To deter unwanted aggression from Merton I will instigate the Orpington Independant Nuclear Deterrant.
29. All council documents written and meetings held in Manx.
30. The air and sea cadets to become the Orpington Airforce and Navy.
31. All people under 25 to (excluding those mining salt and harvesting honey) to complete borough service in the Richie Youth Militia.
32. Armed Forces to be garrisoned on Wimbledon Common.
33. Declare independence for the UK, EU, UN & UFFP.
34. New borough anthem to be compose by Andrew Lloyd Webber, sung by Gareth Gates and have a rauncy video featuring Jo Guest to raise money for re-armaments.
35. Electoral reform : I will introduce the Florida model, whereby all spoilt ballots and uncast votes will be counted as being for my brother George.
36. All sapphic man-hating poems to be burnt. And their authors and any woman who looks like she might write one of these malignant missives.
37. Abolition of oppressive Anglo-Saxon distinctions between 'sane' and 'insane' with the more politically correct terms 'human' and 'subhuman'. All non-Anglo-Saxons will automatically be designated 'human' until they demonstrate Anglo traits like homosexuality, feminism and dissent.
38. To ensure racial purity all children are to be fathered by the glorious leader (unless ofcourse the mother's ugly).
39. Neighbours to replace Shakespeare at the Orpington Repatory Theatre.
40. Thou shal not eat the meat of any fowl taller than yourself (first production : the Death of Bouncer).
41. Development of a giant space balloon that will block out the sun's life-giving rays, unless the world's leaders give me all their money and Jo Guest performs certain intimate acts upon me.
42. A cow for every pensioner.
43. Christianity to be replaced by a hybrid of Budhism and Druidism of my own devising.

Campaign Colours = Torquoise.

If any of the elderly or infirm are unable to get to the Poling Station please contact me and I will collect your Poling Card and cast your vote for you.Mail Me.
Richie Comaish : Today Orpington : Tomorrow the World.

quote:

---

If I vote Ritchie, do I get a free chipmunk?

---

At the moment this is a work in progress.

________________________
For the benefit of the stupid
This is a work of fiction , any similarity to any person sane or insane is purely intentional

quote:

---

I'm not voting for you... 50% vat on pie and mash !!!!! Should be "free pie and mash twice a week"

---

________________________
For the benefit of the stupid.
This is a work of fiction , any similarity to any person sane or insane is purely intentional

http://www.bromley.gov.uk/

Then click on election reuslts; Select Orpington and click go.

Den of Iniquity

© Idiot Enterprises